Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Forever alone (another vday short story)

"Okay, so you all heard my friend, Forever Alone here, right?"
                  
"ALRIGHT! THAT'S IT! GOODBYE ANDY."
"Wait! No! Jill! I'm sorry! Don't break up with me! No! Wait! I can explain-..."
she hang up on him. "Oh Sh*t. Great, just fantastic." he sighed.
He sat on the couch and stared at his unfinished martini on the table. Then he looked around, realizing what he had just done on the phone, whether should he regret it or stay single for the time being. Then his eyes were caught up on something. The calendar hanged up at the corner of the room.
"Wait, tomorrow's what?" he peeked closer...
"VALENTINES DAY?!?!" then he gave himself a major facepalm.
That explains why his girlfriend, Jill, possibly a supermodel if she wasn't so conceited, was so grumpy. Tomorrow would be the day of the hearts, the day every single person hates.
VALENTINES DAY.
he stood up, gulped the remaining martini and went inside his bedroom ans scourged around his closet, that looked like it has been dumped garbage with, for centuries.
Let me explain Andy to you. You see, he's much of a ladies' man. He knows his way around girls, can get them wherever he wants *ifyouknowwhatimean* whenever he wants. He's unexpectedly dashing and much of a smooth-talker, but he's like, a magnet for bad luck. He gets them, everytime.
"Ahh, here it is!" he smirked as he got a little black book full of girl's names and their addresses and phone numbers. He's quite a name dropper too. "Let's see, just ONE date for tomorrow and I'm all good." he sighed, realizing his objectives.
He picked up his phone and went into a calling craze.
If you're wondering how it went, here's a small edit of what the girls said to him.
"Sorry, I'm busy." , "Sorry, I already have a date." , "I made other plans." , "Who are you again?"
Poor Andy. His charm ain't turning right tonight. and what a bad night it picked, too.
He sighed and made his fingers crack, exhausted and deliberately desperate in finding a date tomorrow.
"What am I gonna do? I don't wanna be Forever Alone." he sighed as he threw his phone in his bed and dived through the haystack.
~*~*~*~*~*~
He woke up at 11am, the best time to wake up for him, because that means brunch and you're well rested.
He was even humming while cooking his breakfast, he ate, took a bath and changed clothes. He went to his friend's house, Max, video game millionaire, and played all the games some guys only dreamt of having. Yes, that was a video game paradise. Afterwards, he was called by Matt, another rich pal. They went around the city checking out his new Lamborghini, Ferrari and Chevrolet. Then he called his brother, Joey, and went to a skydiving center.
"WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" he screamed as he jumped from the helicopter, all the way until he had to pull his parachute.
Afterwards, he called his brotherhood gang, and decided to end the day having a boy's night out with lots of beer and a great football game.
He went home, tired but happy from what happened by being forever alone this Valentines.
Before he went to sleep, someone knocked on his doorstep.
It was Jill.
"Hey, I'm sorry, I was just so mad. Forgive?" she said, seductively at that.
"On one condition."
*lesexytimeifyouknowwhatimean*
THIS WAS IN FACT, ANDY'S BEST EVER VALENTINE'S DAY.
Yours can be too. Don't let being single or heartbroken or something, stop you from having fun this Valentine's. NO DATE? NO PROBLEM. I know what you're thinking, who am I to tell you this, right? Just an advice, bro. Stop being emo, and enjoy what life has to offer.
If you have no rich millionaire friends who have Chevrolets, you always have 9gag ;)

~~follow me on twitter, i follow back: @lyenkrenz
THANKS.

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